Apr 27, 2011

It Is What It Is

Well, today was my official last day of work!! Can I get a BIG Hallelujah shout?! Time to start a new season of my life that does NOT include scrubbing other people's toilets:) As excited as I am, this is also a little scary~like, I really did it~I quit, after 8 years! Yikes! You see, I am the type of person that likes to have everything all figured out and I like to KNOW what is going to happen tomorrow or next week. Now, I HAVE NO IDEA!!

I have taken steps to start teaching yoga twice a week, but ultimately, I really don't have any control over how many people (if any) come to my classes. I'm also nervous about the teaching itself. I don't know how my body is going to feel from one day to the next. You don't even want to hear all the other 'what if's' going through my head. Believe me, there are LOTS!

I just came from physical therapy and I have mentioned before how much I like my PT and how we talk the whole time she is killing  working on me. She was laughing at me today because I seem to always want things to be different than they are or I am always thinking 'what if' kind of stuff. For instance, I asked her, "What if I'm not better by the time my insurance is done paying for visits?" Then I said, "I hope it's pretty tomorrow." I could give you more examples, but you get the idea. I am ALWAYS thinking ahead and it adds to the tension and pain in my body. I also ignore my body and clean (and move dressers:) when I shouldn't be! And I wonder why I keep taking 2 steps forward and 1-2 steps back with  my pain.

I said all that to say that I just need to learn that 'it is what it is'. Why can't I just live in the now and be at peace and content. The therapist suggested that I go to behavioral therapy, but I'm not really up for that. I'm not sure I need therapy (although I might:), but one thing I AM sure of is that I NEED GOD! I've been really thinking about this verse this week:

"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace..." Romans 8:6

The mind controlled by the Spirit (of God) is LIFE and PEACE! I do NOT have peace when I am trying to control or figure everything out! I know this in my head, but need to LIVE IT:)

How about you? Can any of you relate to my struggle? I know I'm not alone in this~we could all just go to therapy together:)  

Apr 26, 2011


I seriously did not mean to go so long between post! I have not been on the computer as much lately and it has actually been kind of nice:) I have been trying to get some priorities straight around here and it feels good to slow down and rethink some things. Tomorrow is my LAST CLEANING DAY!!!! I am excited beyond belief and have been feeling like I am somehow starting over. I have had more motivation to do things around my own house! I spent all day yesterday cleaning  (my house) and LOVED the feeling of accomplishment~and the feeling of pain meds., hehe:) It's amazing how quiting my job is helping me look at life through a different set of eyes! My eating is better, my mood is better, my body~not so much~yet.

Just wanted to pop in and say "HI" and I'm still here! I hope to be back to regular posting soon:) Thanks for stopping by!

Apr 14, 2011

Takin' the Plunge!

I am FINALLY doing it!! I AM QUITING MY CLEANING JOB!!!! This past week has been a whirlwind of decisions, emotions and business stuff. Let me back up a bit:) In my last post, I was telling you about my wonderful physical therapist and how she encourages me. Well, one thing she said to me last week that I didn't talk about was this "If you keep going like you are, you will eventually get to the point that you can't do anything!" At the time, I kind of shrugged it off, but it just kept coming back to me. I started thinking about why I just kept doing something that is obviously detrimental to my health. My number one reason was FEAR! I was SO afraid that if I quit, we would sink financially. Granted, I don't make that much, but it does help put food on the table. I decided it was high time that I trust God completely and take a huge leap of faith. After prayer and tears and talking with my mom and my best friend~I had made my decision. My mom was very helpful because she also has fibro. I talked with my husband that night and it was official!

Now what? I am actually taking two giant leaps of faith! Not only am I quiting cleaning, but I am also going to start teaching yoga~GASP! A yoga teacher near me sent me a link about this guy that teaches yoga from his wheelchair! What?! Okay, if he can do it, surely I can do it. My therapist has given me the go ahead and I have two places already lined up to teach. Man, things happen fast! I am supposed to start the first week of May. I still have two more weeks to finish out my cleaning.

I am excited to see how my body improves once the cleaning is over and, of course, I am very excited about finally being able to do something I love! There is potential to make MORE teaching yoga than I was able to make cleaning. I am still battling fear of the unknown, but I just have to keep taking it to God. He knows my situation~duh!

Apr 6, 2011

Pieces to the Puzzle

                             I went to physical therapy today and can I just say I love my PT! Not only is she awesome at bodywork and improving my pain, she is also very knowledgeable about health and nutrition. She has suffered with Lyme's disease and she can totally relate to people like me. Every time I go, we talk a lot about the pieces of the puzzle that are going to bring me to a better place with my health. I don't do a very good job at putting the pieces together on my own and it is SO helpful to have someone reminding me why I'm doing certain things. The pieces to my puzzle are: diet, exercise, sleep/rest, changing careers~hopefully, supplements and working with several different Dr.s.

The one that seems to get me the most is diet! We talked a lot about that today and I realize that I am not serving myself or bettering my health when I get slack in my eating. When you have a chronic illness or even suffer emotionally, it is SO easy to think that food will make you feel better. For instance, I don't feel good so I think a piece of cake will make me feel better. What I don't take into consideration is what that piece of cake will make me feel like after the joy of eating it is all over. Don't get me wrong, I don't sit around eating cake all the time, but sometimes I just get so tired of caring what I eat. I think I just want something to bring me pleasure~even if it is only for 5 minutes! After talking with the PT today, I feel a little more encouraged to eat healthy for the right reasons. Sometimes the cravings for junk are more than I can bear, but I am only harming myself if I give in. I KNOW certain foods aggravate my health and I am praying for strength to stay away from those foods.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed by all the different pieces to the puzzle. I have to remember that when you sit down to work a puzzle, the pieces don't just fall into place instantly. I recently started working on a 1,000 piece puzzle and it reminded me of the patience it takes to fit the pieces together. My health puzzle can be no different. I have been trying to figure things out for YEARS and I'm STILL not there, BUT I know more than I did a year ago:) My PT gives me hope because she has also traveled a long journey with her health and it has paid off for her. I just have to take it one piece at a time:)

Is there a puzzle in your life that you are having to be patient with? I would love to hear from more of my readers:)

Apr 4, 2011

Birthday Bash

Yesterday was my daughter's 15th birthday! Boy, do I feel old! She is the youngest of my three children and I can't even believe how fast the years have gone by! She TOTALLY got spoiled this weekend by her Aunt. They left early Friday morning to go to Pigeon Forge, Tn. Here are a few pictures of The Inn at Christmas Place where they stayed.

They shopped 'til they dropped on Friday and then Saturday went to Dollywood for a day of roller coaster riding.

Elizabeth loves owls~sign says "will work for worms":)
All that roller coaster riding worked up an appetite so they then headed to the Dixie Stampede for a show and dinner.

Elizabeth finally arrived home around 4pm Sunday from her weekend full of fun! That evening, she had some friends over for pizza, cake and ice cream~and lots of laughs:)

I'm pretty sure Elizabeth would say that this was the BEST birthday EVER!! Happy Birthday Lillybeth:)

Apr 2, 2011

Keepin' it Simple

It amazes me that I used to LOVE to cook and always wanted to try new recipes. I spent most weekends making homemade gluten free bread and all sorts of other goodies. Getting a new food magazine in the mail was like Christmas to me! Now, I have NO desire to cook~zero!!!! A lot has changed with my health since the days that I cooked all the time. I used to be really good about making a menu and sticking to it. In fact, I felt lost without it. Now, a menu stresses me out! I spend all this time making the menu and shopping for all the stuff and then when it comes time for me to cook what's on the menu, I have NO energy for it. I have also learned that buying fresh veggies is a waste of money for me~gasp! I know, why would I not want to buy fresh veggies? Simple~because I let them rot! I throw more veggies in the trash than I actually use. Obviously I don't do this just out of pure carelessness, I just don't have the energy to mess with them. I have zucchini and cabbage in my fridge right now that need to be used, but I have had a BAD last couple of days and I am not about to cut veggies!

So, to make sure I am getting some veggies and fairly healthy meals without having to slave in the kitchen, I am buying frozen veggies and keeping meals simple. For breakfast today, I had a PureFit bar. It was the first one I had ever had and I liked it well enough that I will buy more. Simple breakfast~check:)

For lunch I had this:
Chicken breast, steamed veggies and gluten free toast
All I had to do was steam the frozen veggies, toss the chicken in the skillet and the toast in the oven. I bought a box of all natural chicken breast that are individually wrapped so I can take one out when I want and not have to cook the whole bag at once. Totally yummy! Simple lunch~check:)

Then for dinner I had this:
Homemade beans and 'weanies'

I had some leftover beans that I cooked the other day. I cooked up an Applegate Organic sausage and added it to the beans for a very filling dinner. I also munched on some kettle corn (LOVE this stuff!) while the sausage was cooking. I have a full tummy and I didn't kill myself cooking. Now that's the kind of meals I like!:)

Do you like to fix complicated gourmet meals or keep things simple? Simple can be yummy and healthy!