If at First You Don't Succeed...

...go back to the Dr.~AGAIN! Boy, this has been a hard road lately and I feel like I may NEVER find something that works to relieve my fibro. I tried Cymbalta and quickly decided not to continue with that. Then I must have taken a stupid pill because I also decided to try going without Nuerontin. That was NOT a good idea. I went two nights without it and my body was screaming!

My sweet hubby let me go to a yoga class Sat. morning~which happened to be after two nights without meds. I was SO excited to go to a class! I hadn't been to one since finishing my teacher training the first of Oct. I've done yoga, just not gone to a class. So, I go to this class and I KNEW as soon as it was over that I was gonna pay! By the time I got home, I was reaching for pain meds. and crying. My mom happened to call while I was crying and I had a complete meltdown on her. She also has fibro. so she can totally relate. I am thankful to have her because sometimes fibro. can make you feel VERY alone:( It's just hard for people to understand. I mean, I don't LOOK sick~so therefore I must be okay. I think people also have a hard time understanding the toll it takes on a person emotionally to be 'sick' day after day after day. It felt good to let some of that out to someone who knows what it's like.

 Anyway, I realized after my little moment of insanity and not taking meds. that I could not do without it again. I started doing MORE research about fibro. and decided that at this point I am pretty desperate for relief. I have read so much on the web about fibro. that my eyes sometimes feel like they are crossing! I called my Dr. Mon. morning and thankfully was able to get in to see him. He is so kind! He is always understanding and never makes me feel stupid. He told me yesterday to NOT give up and that he feels really bad for me. He also thought it would be a good idea to send me to a rheumatologist. He prescribed a fairly new drug called Savella and we'll just have to see how my body responds to that. I go to the rheumatologist on Jan. 13th.

I am still not ready for Christmas, but I am choosing to not stress over it. I'll get done what I can and not worry about the rest. I'm so thankful for my family and for the reason for this season~which is Christ's birth.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!

Edit: The rheumatologist office called and they want me to come today instead of Jan. 13th! I'll keep ya posted:)

Finally!

I finally got some decorating done!! We had a lovely snow day and spent it in our pj's:) We started off by decorating ginger bread houses~so fun!

Got out the Christmas dishes

Centerpiece on the table

Bought all new ornaments this year! My two favorites:

And the tree is all done~FINALLY:)

Hope you all had a beautiful day!

Is it REALLY...

...almost Christmas?! I told my husband last night that I didn't want Christmas. He asked me why and I said because I don't feel good enough to have Christmas. He asked me how I was supposed to feel and all I could come up with was "Better than this!" I don't even have a tree up yet!! That is depressing me, but I just haven't had the energy to do it. Maybe today? My kids did their own shopping and I haven't done shopping for anyone else. Sometimes, I wish I could just stop time, just long enough to catch up:)

I have been on the Cymbalta for about a week and a half now and I am going off of it. It seems to be wreaking havoc on my gut~as in I am not able to go to the bathroom~sorry, TMI! I have also noticed that here I am taking an antidepressant and I am MORE depressed than I was before! I actually wasn't depressed before I started it, I was only taking it for the fibro. I can't tell that it's doing anything for my pain either. Maybe I haven't given it enough time, but my gut can't handle it anymore. I have been reading some forums where people have posted about their experience on Cymbalta and it was ALL bad! One lady got so constipated she ended up in the ER with a blockage and was throwing up! Sorry, but that just does not appeal to me!

Because of the affect that the Cymbalta has had on my gut, I am going to spend  a few days eating lots of fresh/raw fruits and veggies and also do some fresh veggie juicing. I feel like I have a bowling ball in my gut and I just need a break/cleanse. It's such a shame that medicine that is supposed to help ends up making me feel just as bad, only in a different way!

Well, I should probably go and come back when I am a bit more chipper. Just wanted to say "Hi":) I wish I could be more consistent with blogging, but oh well. Have a blessed day!

Isaiah 42:16 "I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth."

Sweet Potato Pancakes

Yesterday for lunch I made myself some sweet potato pancakes. I have been wanting to make them for the last week and just now got around to it. My mom used to make potato cakes when I was growing up and I loved them! These are so simple and yummy!

Sweet Potato Pancakes
1 sweet potato (1 lb.)
2 eggs
1/4 cup unsweetened coconut milk
2 Tbs. gluten free flour
1 Tbs. agave (or more if you like sweeter)
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
cinnamon ( I didn't measure)

1~Cook, peel and mash sweet potato
2~Mix everything together until blended well.
3~Measure out 1/4 cup of batter and place in oiled skillet. Spread with spatula.
4~Cook until both sides are brown.
5~Eat and Enjoy!
Makes 8 pancakes

I had mine along side some black bean soup for a very satisfying lunch! Then I had another for a bedtime snack with a little dairy free butter and agave~yummy!

A Day of Rest

Really bad lighting!!

You know what I did yesterday? Absolutely NOTHING!! Sunday's are supposed to be a day of rest and they honestly wear me out sometimes. The most productive thing I did was take a hot bath and put clean clothes on. I missed out on church, but not because I didn't want to GET worn out~I WAS already worn out!! I had six people over for dinner Sat. night, three of which were teenagers that ended up staying at my house all night. We had a great time!! Needless to say, I don't think I even got two hours of sleep. My oldest son was kind enough to remind me the next day when I was moaning that I am not a teenager anymore~duh! Normally, when we have teens over like that I go on to bed, but this time I stayed up talking and laughing with them. I also had to make sure the girls were upstairs and the boys were downstairs after a certain time. So, that meant staying up until almost 3am and then listening to girls giggle and talk until about 5am. Then my hubby got up around 5:30 to go to work. I finally got up around 9am after having NO success with sleeping! I felt like I had been ran over by a steam roller! The teens had to fix breakfast themselves because there was NO way this momma could do it! Then, I also blessed them with the privilege of washing all the dishes and cleaning up where the girls had crashed in the living room:) I, on the other hand, spent my day like a zombie on the couch watching Netflix. All in all, it was a great weekend! Was it worth feeling like I had aged 20 yrs. over night? Yeah, but only because I could chill the next day~otherwise, I would have never survived. Good times!:)

Winter Wonderland

We are getting our first snow of the season today! I'm not really crazy about cold weather and snow, but oh well. Might as well not complain about something I have no control over:) It is pretty, just makes things a little inconvenient. Then again, why do we always think things should be convenient? My oldest son has a 4-wheel drive truck so he is braving the weather to go pick up his girlfriend and my younger son's girlfriend. Boy, that was weird to type. You see, I just met my younger sons girlfriend last night! This is the first time he has dated anyone, so I haven't quiet got that in my head yet. My kids are growing up!! How weird it will be when they are all grown and married! Anyway, hubby is at Wal-Mart getting new tires on his car and is bringing the goods home for me to fix spaghetti and meatballs. 

I saw my Dr. yesterday and it was a good visit. He is such a great Dr.! I was voicing my concerns about having to resort to taking meds. and he kept reassuring me that I had done everything I could have done to avoid drugs. I don't know why I have struggled so with that decision! I was thinking this morning that it may just be my ugly pride. I think deep down, I think I should be stronger than fibro. or chronic fatigue. I think I should be able to 'beat it' somehow and I have been humbled by the fact that I can't! Anyway, I'm taking Cymbalta, nuerontin and pain meds. when needed. I know a lot of people can't take Cymbalta, but I'm hoping it will work for me. It is making me pretty queezy, but I think it will pass. He said to give it two weeks.

I better run now~I'm gonna have three extra teens for dinner tonight. Good times!:)

Psalm 29: 23 "A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor."

I'm thinking...

...blogging isn't going so well lately. Seems like life just keeps gettin' ahead of me. I have decided to take the month of December off from teaching yoga at my church and am trying to just be home more. It seems like this season just flies by at break neck speed and I get lost somewhere in the shuffle of it all.

I'm also thinking that I am going to have to try some medicine that I have been trying to avoid at all cost. This is very hard for me as I was trying to stay as natural as possible. I see my Dr. today and will talk about it with him. What brought me to this decision is when I realized that even doing child's pose in yoga made me hurt! I feel like yoga will help me stay healthier, but not if I can't do it. My fear is that I won't be able to teach if I don't start feeling better.

Enough with the gloom and doom~I am VERY excited that I found a place not far from where I live to teach yoga! I am starting there on Jan. 8th, hence the needing to feel better:) To start off, I will be teaching a Sat. morning class each week, but if there is enough interest, I will add a weekday class later on.

I also just want to say how blessed I am to have a husband who has been so supportive! I asked him recently if he stressed about me not being able to clean houses as much to bring in income and he just keeps reassuring me that he just wants me to be healthy.

So, even in the midst of struggles and daily pain and fatigue, there are always things to be thankful for:) It does my heart good to think of all the ways God blesses me! I read a very sad comment on a fellow blogger's post. The person who left the comment does not believe that God can NOT make a mistake and does not believe that God is in control. The person stated that if God is in control then that is a terrifying thought! I pray for the person to see God for who HE IS. If God is NOT in control, that is a VERY terrifying thought to me! I can't imagine my life without HIM! Lord, reveal yourself to those that are blinded to who you are:)

2 Cor. 4:4 " The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ..."