It Is What It Is

Well, today was my official last day of work!! Can I get a BIG Hallelujah shout?! Time to start a new season of my life that does NOT include scrubbing other people's toilets:) As excited as I am, this is also a little scary~like, I really did it~I quit, after 8 years! Yikes! You see, I am the type of person that likes to have everything all figured out and I like to KNOW what is going to happen tomorrow or next week. Now, I HAVE NO IDEA!!

I have taken steps to start teaching yoga twice a week, but ultimately, I really don't have any control over how many people (if any) come to my classes. I'm also nervous about the teaching itself. I don't know how my body is going to feel from one day to the next. You don't even want to hear all the other 'what if's' going through my head. Believe me, there are LOTS!

I just came from physical therapy and I have mentioned before how much I like my PT and how we talk the whole time she is killing  working on me. She was laughing at me today because I seem to always want things to be different than they are or I am always thinking 'what if' kind of stuff. For instance, I asked her, "What if I'm not better by the time my insurance is done paying for visits?" Then I said, "I hope it's pretty tomorrow." I could give you more examples, but you get the idea. I am ALWAYS thinking ahead and it adds to the tension and pain in my body. I also ignore my body and clean (and move dressers:) when I shouldn't be! And I wonder why I keep taking 2 steps forward and 1-2 steps back with  my pain.

I said all that to say that I just need to learn that 'it is what it is'. Why can't I just live in the now and be at peace and content. The therapist suggested that I go to behavioral therapy, but I'm not really up for that. I'm not sure I need therapy (although I might:), but one thing I AM sure of is that I NEED GOD! I've been really thinking about this verse this week:

"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace..." Romans 8:6


The mind controlled by the Spirit (of God) is LIFE and PEACE! I do NOT have peace when I am trying to control or figure everything out! I know this in my head, but need to LIVE IT:)

How about you? Can any of you relate to my struggle? I know I'm not alone in this~we could all just go to therapy together:)