Oh, I Forgot About That!

I know it's been a while since I have posted, but I wanted to talk a bit about being on Naltrexone vs. Savella. I have been on Naltrexone for barely over a month and the main difference I can tell is having a bit more energy. While that is a VERY good thing, it hasn't helped with pain at all. My Dr. said it could take a couple of months before we will know if it is going to work for me. The HUGE downfall to being on Naltrexone is that while being on it, I can't take any kind of pain meds. I can take things like Aleve, but that honestly does NOTHING for my pain. There have been many times over this last month that I would have given my left arm for some strong drugs! Not really, but you get the idea:)

Another downfall to being on Naltrexone is that is does NOTHING for depression. People who are not chronically ill may not understand this, but hurting pretty much all the time and being tired all the time can get pretty depressing! I realized the other day that I was tempted to voluntarily drive my car into a concrete wall! I know~NOT a good way to be thinking! I thought at least I could just lay in a hospital bed and be pumped full of morhine~oh, but wait, I couldn't do that because morphine and Naltrexone would not mix!! Then on top of being hurt, depressed and lying in a hospital bed, I would also be puking my guts up. I decided that was not a good option:) I don't really want to drive into a concrete wall, but I DO want some relief from pain and depression!

After having terribly wrong thinking, I decided maybe I better go back on the Savella. At least it would help with the depression and I could take pain meds. when I need them (after going off Naltrexone). I started Savella back on Friday, but there is something I forgot about when taking it. Yeah, it makes me a little sick at first, but I can handle that.What I can't handle is how weak I feel. I had completely forgotten that I felt like this when I was on it before! I'm talking weak to the point that when I get out of the shower, I have to sit on the toilet seat just to catch my breath and not feel like I'm gonna pass out! I'm talking weak to the point that walking from one end of the house to the other is exhausting~ and I have a small house! I am always tired, but this is a different kind of tired and it only got worse the longer I was on the Savella. How could I have forgotten that?! Well, probably because I was never sure if it was the Savella causing it. I just chalked it up as normal Chronic Fatigue but after being off of it and then starting it back, I now know it is the Savella.

Now what? I think I'm between a rock and a hard place! Now I'm thinking maybe I should just give the Naltrexone more time. But what about the depression? I don't know. I really don't like the idea of trying yet another medication. I have used 5-HTP for depression in the past and may give that another shot. In the meantime, I will continue to do my best to trust God. There have been a lot of things in my life that I have not understood and this is one of them, but I WILL keep going to God! He is my only hope of any kind of peace in the midst of my circumstances. I NEED HIM!! Sometimes I feel like He is right in front of me, but I'm having trouble 'seeing' Him. This is when I have to choose to simply trust:)